Family vs. Home Business Boundaries, Anyone?

[Alison] This morning I got up at 8 am with 7000 things to get done today, work on selling my Philly rehab (AARGH!), check on my tax refund, pay bills, place classified ads online for my businesses, follow up on selling domain names, clean the apartment, get all the papers filed, make 100 calls out to sellers, write for the blog...Also, with the Lehman bankruptcy, Merrill Lynch being taken over by Bank of America, and AIG being bailed out by the government (Sherba's blog was practically prophetic, huh?), I am stressed about losing more clients and maybe having EVEN LESS freelance work.

Our apartment is around 600 square feet, five rooms, and the wires for the TV, computer and filing system are all in the same room. My husband has a studio downtown in Union Square where he paints and meets with clients. So today, he decided to visit with me, talk on the phone, watch TV, make lunch because he did not have meetings and finally left at 4 pm. I got a few e-mails done, a few classifieds placed, some domain name work done and a quick blog, maybe 1/100th of all my tasks.

Other times, I have gently mentioned to D that THIS apartment is where I work and I can't easily do it with him here. The result of that tactic was that he slammed around, leaped into his clothes without a shower, said, "Well, if you don't want me here, I'll just go to the studio. And, by the way, I'll probably stay downtown tonight and work," and left without a kiss. (Stick in the knife and twist so I feel like a bad wife.)

So, here's the question, is there any graceful way to claim the importance of my work, when I run my businesses from home? How do I make clear that I love my husband dearly and really enjoy spending time with him BUT, when I have work to do, I NEED to get it done? How do I establish professional and personal boundaries when home is my workspace? How do I keep the peace with my family? No answers, just questions...

Analyzing the market

[Karen] Times are changing very fast. Not always for the better. We can all see how our lives have changed from one day to another and this is relative to our employers, businesses, families and friends.

I am in the process of researching a real estate investment in the North East and although I have made similar real estate investments in the past, the times have changed so drastically from my first investment to the present, that every aspect of the investment must be reconsidered.

In the past, I purchased properties to produce passive income as I have learned and strive to do in my quest to create wealth. I presently own numerous rental properties but the economic times have taken their toll, and now the strategy must change.

The problem? Well the problem is that just as homeowners are being forced into foreclosure because they can not pay their mortgages, those in the alternative rental market are finding themselves hit by the same challenges that are hitting their counterparts. How does one pay rent when they are downsized, when their car has gone from a fill up costing $40 to $70? These same individuals quite often have lost jobs and are often forced to make withdrawals from their retirement accounts. That is if they have retirement accounts. Where will the money come from?

Every single aspect of our lives has changed and unfortunately, not for the best. And so, what is the strategy for the present? Flexibility!

Where's My Tax Stimulus Payment?

[Alison] I just discovered a curious secret about the tax stimulus payment. The software the Social Security Administration and the IRS have only registers three names and I have a first name, two middle names (middle and maiden) and a last name - no hyphens. So Social Security, in their infinite wisdom, decided to hyphenate my second middle and last name without informing me. The IRS couldn't find me because I put my legal name (no hyphens in sight) on my tax return.

You only get the tax stimulus payment if your return flies through the system with NO GLITCHES. It doesn't matter if you did everything right. Nobody can do anything to fix it. Also, my tax refund check, filed in June and not here yet, has taken months and months because of that little hyphen. Next year's solution, according to the IRS, is to hyphenate my last two names, even though that's not my legal name. Nobody there seems to understand why I have a problem with that. Oh, all this unravelling of this problem took four phone calls and about six hours of time. AARGH!

Mixed Feelings About Life As I Live It

[Alison] I found out last week that I am being offered more hours at work until the end of the year, and I confess to mixed feelings about the change. It's not about the proofreading work. I know the client's account and can provide backup to the team very well. It's this dream I have about financial freedom. On the one hand, with a lot of my money tied up in houses, I have been struggling financially and have less reserves than I did before. When I began learning and investing in real estate, I was working 40 hours a week so that paid the bills. Rents from my Syracuse houses were extra cash.

Then, as there was less work, I became very involved in the NYC and Big Apple REIAs, and began intensive learning from real estate gurus on different topics, traveling around the country. I noticed I became less effective as I had more time to pursue the real estate and my work-from-home tasks expanded to fill the time. I also wasn't particularly good at keeping the work promises I made to myself. So much else to do at home...

Going back to four (sometimes five) days a week, I will be forced to prioritize my time more tightly. Already, I see a difference in my effectiveness by having accountability partners (four individuals and my entrepreneur women's group). I thought I needed more than one (ha! ha! ha!) To report in weekly on the achievement of, or gap between, my goals and dreams and my actions, brings added commitment and passion to my vision. Oh, they also have my permission to kick my a** if I don't show forward progress, even if it's like a crab (one step forward, two steps back, three steps forward). Mistakes are fine in my world, especially new ones, because they mean action, stretching myself, boldness. I'll still get it done and reach my dreams, more financial resources and time, a louder voice in the world. Onward and upward...

How I got into real estate

[Rosa] let me introduce myself. I am from queens. Used to (still do sometimes) drive stretch limousines, did that for 10 years. I used to work for 80-90 hrs a week. I used to think I will save money and i will be financially secure at one point. Invested some money in the meantime in real estate. Suddenly things started changing when I was involved in a motor vehicle accident while I was working. I was out of work for almost 1 month. No money came in. My boss used to show such a little income on the books that I could not get any money from insurance. My boss pulled me out on the road after 1 month (he is only interested in his business and all mighty dollars.) My knee injury got worse. Had to do surgery but it didn't really help. In november 2007, my right knee gave up and I fell. Now I've hurt both my knees. It was so bad. September 20th is my birthday. I had a very nice day.

What About Failed Banks ?

[Alison] I went looking for this list to see which banks have failed, where, how big or small, so I could begin to think about what is going on here. Of course, it doesn't stretch to other financial institutions like Lehman Brothers or AIG, which are currently in the news nor does it cover banks for whom the FDIC is NOT the receiver. Of course, by the time a bank hits THIS list, you're already late to take any effective action to get out beforehand. So what can we do?

If you'll remember, in Mary Poppins the musical, a run on the bank was caused because a little boy did not want to deposit his tuppence in the bank and caused a scene when they tried to take it from him. That's a huge danger here, panic, fear diving the banks down as reality and perception meet. Worth thinking about...

Did you know that there's a confidence index and also a misery index in the financial papers. Needless, to say, for many people, confidence is down and misery is up and that is what the indexes are currently reflecting.

So you can follow along for yourself: Failed Banks List (http://www.fdic.gov/bank/individual/failed/banklist.html)

The FDIC is often appointed as receiver for failed banks. This page contains useful information for the customers and vendors of these banks. This includes information on the acquiring bank (if applicable), how your accounts and loans are affected, and how vendors can file claims against the receivership.

This list includes banks which have failed since October 1, 2000.

Ameribank, Northfork, WV closed September 19, 2008
Silver State Bank, Henderson, NV, En Español closed
September 5, 2008
Integrity Bank, Alpharetta, GA closed August 29, 2008
The Columbian Bank and Trust, Topeka, KS closed August 22, 2008
First Priority Bank, Bradenton, FL closed August 1, 2008
First Heritage Bank, NA, Newport Beach, CA closed July 25, 2008
First National Bank of Nevada, Reno, NV closed July 25, 2008
IndyMac Bank, Pasadena, CA closed July 11, 2008
First Integrity Bank, NA, Staples, MN closed May 30, 2008
ANB Financial, NA, Bentonville, AR closed May 9, 2008
Hume Bank, Hume, MO closed March 7, 2008
Douglass National Bank, Kansas City, MO closed January 25, 2008
Miami Valley Bank, Lakeview, OH closed October 4, 2007
NetBank, Alpharetta, GA closed September 28, 2007
Metropolitan Savings Bank, Pittsburgh, PA closed February 2, 2007
Bank of Ephraim, Ephraim, UT closed June 25, 2004
Reliance Bank, White Plains, NY closed March 19, 2004
Guaranty National Bank of Tallahassee, Tallahassee, FL closed
March 12, 2004
Dollar Savings Bank, Newark, NJ closed February 14, 2004
Pulaski Savings Bank, Philadelphia, PA closed November 14, 2003
The First National Bank of Blanchardville, Blanchardville, WI closed
May 9, 2003
Southern Pacific Bank, Torrance, CA closed February 7, 2003
The Farmers Bank of Cheneyville, Cheneyville, LA December 17, 2002
The Bank of Alamo, Alamo, TN closed November 8, 2002
AmTrade International Bank of Georgia, Atlanta, GA - En Español
closed September 30, 2002
Universal Federal Savings Bank, Chicago, IL closed June 27, 2002
Connecticut Bank of Commerce, Stamford, CT closed June 26, 2002
New Century Bank, Shelby Township, MI closed March 28, 2002
Net 1st National Bank, Boca Raton, FL closed March 1, 2002
NextBank, N.A., Phoenix, AZ closed February 7, 2002
Oakwood Deposit Bank Company, Oakwood, OH closed
February 1, 2002
Bank of Sierra Blanca, Sierra Blanca, TX closed January 18, 2002
Hamilton Bank, N.A., Miami, FL, En Español closed January 11, 2002
Sinclair National Bank, Gravette, AR closed September 7, 2001
Superior Bank, FSB, Hinsdale, IL closed July 27, 2001
The Malta National Bank, Malta, OH closed May 3, 2001
First Alliance Bank & Trust Company, Manchester, NH closed
February 2, 2001
National State Bank of Metropolis, Metropolis, IL closed
December 14, 2000
Bank of Honolulu, Honolulu, HI closed October 13, 2000

Take time to smell the roses

[Karen] As usual, the past few weeks have been very hectic. I am sure that we can all relate to this. After all, this blog is about that delicate balancing act that we all must perform to survive our daily lives with our sanity in tact. Work, work and more work but what is life all about if we don't force ourselves to stop and smell the roses.

Okay, so I don't mean to stop and literally smell the roses, but you should if that is what you want to do. I for one have found my new rose. Normally, I look out my window and the Hudson River is there, about a quarter of a mile away, this is everyday life, but this is different. On Saturday, September 13th my nephew and one of my fellow blog posters, attended the Yonkers Riverfest. I for one, watched in awe from a distance as men, women and children paddled kayaks of all shapes and sizes around a small area of the Hudson River that the Yonkers Paddling and Rowing Club (YPRC) members had cordoned off for their guests safety. I had been Kayaking once before many years ago when my friend Dean had the idea but that had been many years ago.

The next day was Sunday, the Hudson River Museum held a special event in conjunction with the YPRC at the JFK Marina. Fortunately for me, my nephew Monte pleaded to attend and now we have a new routine. At this event, the YPRC was inviting museum members to a "walk in" kayak event, all you had to do was show up. Once you had a quick lesson and an available kayak, you were on your way.

I have kayaked four times since the day I stood on the sidelines and watched but last night was by far, the best overall. Last night, my mother, Monte and I had joined Jerry, our new friend and teacher at the YPRC boat house. He had invited us to come down when he saw us the night before. We first met Jerry at the museum event. That day, he took Monte under his wing and we have been lucky enough to go along for the ride ever since.

Jerry has been teaching us about the tides, currants and everything interesting about the river and kayaking that we would want to know. We were introduced to some YPRC members that were on their way out to enjoy the river and then then we went out ourselves. Jerry said that this was the big leagues and I could tell. The water was rougher but we could handle it and handle it we did but this was not the story, the story is about the beauty of it all.

After the four of us had traveled in the immediate vicinity of the club for a while, my mother returned to shore. We followed her back to make sure she disembarked safely and then the three of us started out again. We traveled North as we hugged the shore, being careful not to hit the posts that sometimes jutted out of the water or rocks that may have been underneath in the shallower areas.

Jerry and Monte were ahead of me as I slowly paddled, taking in every wave that rocked my kayak and every bird that flew by. What's the hurry? There was none. I took my time and looked at the wall of rocks that lined the shore on the Yonkers side and the mountains of the New Jersey Palisades on the other. Could it get any better than this?

Again I ask, could it get any better? Yes, it could. By the time we had gone out about a mile, it was getting dark so we turned to head back to shore. This time, as we headed back we paddled closer to the center of the river to take advantage of the fast moving current. At one point, the three of us raised our paddles over our heads and just let the current carry us all along. Dusk had entered the picture and we just paddled as we watched the lights of the city come to life. Jerry brought our attention to the New York City skyline at around 7:00 and we watched the lights that had come on along the edges of the George Washington Bridge.

I could not believe how breathtaking the view was as we floated down the river. I did not want it to end but all good things come to an end. We landed, carried the kayaks to the boathouse where Jerry gave us a tour of the facility and we talked about the possibility of my nephew working for the club next year and my families future with the YPRC. I could see myself relaxing in the summer sun next year. I know that I have a great deal of work to do and if I have to make up the time by working until 1:00 or 2:00, so be it but personally I need that balance. It can not all be about work so now, I can't wait until next Monday when it will be our time on the river once again.

Would you like to join us? There is plenty of room

If a tree fell in the forest........

[Shay] It all started when the storm that was created by Hannah blew through our area two weeks ago. We woke up early the next morning and there was our tree with a huge limb split from it hanging off and knocked down our neighbor's fence. This is something that I am not happy about. I called our insurance but since nothing on our property was damaged, they would not help at all. It was an "Act of God" they said and since the tree did not hit our house or garage there was nothing they could or would do about it. I even tried to get them to at least send an adjuster out to look at it but they refused. It was ridiculous. So now we have to incur the cost of the tree removal. The tree is not small at all. I was concerned about our neighbor but finally after a week I talked with him and he said he called his insurance company as well. I guess they told him the same thing because he knew he would have to take care of it himself. I feel horrible. If I could afford it, I would have compensated him in some sort of way. After all, it was our tree.

I finally got my fiance to have a few tree services come and give a quote on the tree. I refused to be the one since I always wind up taking care of these things for the house. It ONLY took him two weeks to do it but not to my surprise every service said the same thing. The whole tree needs to come down. The price???? Well it ranged from 4,000 to 4,800. My mouth dropped when I heard those prices. I will have to sit down and really figure this one out. I have to mention the fact that the tree service will probably take the tree wood and sell it for firewood as additional profit to them. It is crazy how these things can happen. It's unfortunate that it keeps happening to me.

Autistically Awesome

[Shirley] When my daughter was very young, she attended a daycare who had an amazing owner, Lucy. She cared for my daughter from 18 months until she looked awkwardly out of place amongst the new toddlers. Anyway, I remember one year a new face had come to Lucy's happy band of children, a small little boy, with big brown eyes, who would sit in corner by himself, just rocking. Everyday I'd see this beautiful child sitting in the same chair rocking, never answering when if you said 'Hi' -- just rocking. I later learned from Lucy that she had voiced her concerns to the boy's mother, who was adamant that there was nothing wrong him, he was just sensitive to noise, you see she was an opera singer, and apparantly as soon as she opened her mouth, it would send her son in fits of rage, inaudible screaming until she stopped singing. For some reason I found this funny having met the mother's cold shoulder on more than one occasion, which only warmed me up to the little boy more, despite his oblivion to my presence. Lucy already had an autistic child in her midst and knew the signs. So when the special case worker came to work with that case, Lucy would make sure the boy was in the same room. Unfortunately, when the boy's mother found out about this, she removed her son from Lucy day care. Where I'm going with all this... Last week I saw a documentary on BBC-America about an autistic man named Stephen Wiltshire. As a child, Stephen was mute and did not relate to other human beings. Aged three, he was diagnosed as autistic. He had no language, uncontrolled tantrums and lived entirely in his own world. By age of five, he was sent to a school for children with special needs, where it was noticed that the only pastime he enjoyed was drawing. Fast forward, today he is being called the Human Camera as he has the ability to look at building, landscape of buildings for a few minutes and then recreate it with such accuracy it makes some of the top architects of the world swooooon. Check out his work on www.stephenwiltshire.co.uk and/or Utube. I was in awe of this young man's ability and how this gift has opened my eyes to the misunderstood world of autism. Also, the possibilities that might have awaited the little boy at Lucy's day care had he been given a chance.

Finally I am here

(Rosa) Good morning everyone. I wrote my whole blog, but somehow my computer did not save it, but that's OK. I am an Indian woman in my late 30s. Married for 21+ years. I have two beautiful teenagers. Very committed to be financially free within next 3 years. My biggest challenge now to get my finances together, working very hard on that. I am very fortunate to have friends like you all. I am very confident that this group will reach us to our goal. This is my first blog.
I will write again tomorrow.

It Came To Pass

[Sherba] Recently I posted about Lehman Brothers and other financial institutions failing. Little did I know when I went to the meeting, "Banks and Brokers that will Fail", that it would really come to pass so soon. What is happening is scary. It all boils down to greed. We want more, bigger and better. We in America don't know how good we have it when it comes to other countries. By comparison we are blessed.

How executives can and did take huge bonuses and people who work for the same companies were losing their jobs. I always thought that was wrong. And this idea I recently heard of "Short Selling" where people involved in the stock market want a companies stock to go down so that they can make money off of it. This is now being stopped and blamed as one reason for the trouble on Wall Street. Greed now has America suffering.

I would like for this to be over soon but recently an economist said he does not think this will be truly over until sometime in 2012 or later. Just pray that God will bless us with relief soon.

It's a man's world??

[Karen] I have your attention don't I? Let me bring you up to speed because I was insulted, angry and ready to strangle one of the lesser species. Okay, okay, maybe men are not a lesser species but last night, I could have easily compared a male restaurant employee to the lowest of the low and it will take some time before I forget the experience. Actually, that is not accurate. This has happened before, the details have changed but the story is just the same.

I have a friend named Dean that I have known for about 20 years. He just hit the big "50" and his birthday falls on 9/11 and as if that was not enough, we were not able to go out previously due to scheduling conflicts so yesterday I made myself available and I decided to take my friend out to dinner.

Did I say that I am vegetarian? Oh, I forgot. Normally, that is not an issue but I am a work in progress. I have not eaten red meat in about 20 years and I stopped eating all other meats about 11 years ago. I had not gone as far as not eating dairy or seafood but over the last year, I had contemplated this more and more until at the end of August 2008, I decided to stop eating dairy and seafood at the beginning of this month. So here we are, a vegetarian attempting to take a friend who runs away from the thought of eating anything healthy, out to dinner.

Where to go? We went to an Indian restaurant, of course. To me, the choice was clear. Actually, Dean suggested Indian just as quickly as I had. Here we both knew that I could get a vegetarian meal in a cuisine that recognizes that vegetarian does not mean rabbit food or should I say green salad. As with other humans, I need protein and so lies the lure of beans in an Indian meal.

So, we chose Patang in Yonkers, New York. I had never been there and actually, they were the second choice. Deans first choice was a restaurant in the Bronx but they had closed down.

We walked in and were quite surprised to find that at prime dinner time, there was only one other table occupied. We decided to stay and take our chances. High gas prices and downsizing along with many other challenges, have taken their toll everywhere and so we both assumed that this was just another restaurant facing the financial issues of the times.

Our waitress and other wait staff were very pleasant and attentive without being pushy. Our appetizers came and went. Not bad. Our entrees came and so did "the man in the orange shirt". Hey, I don't know his name. Actually, I don't want to.

Anyway, a short time into our meal, he walks over to Dean, bends slowly at the waist until he is looking Dean directly in the eyes and asks if he was enjoying his dinner. Dean answers affirmatively and "the man in the orange shirt" walks away. Our waitress arrives a few minutes later and asks Dean and I the same question. Okay, I should have told you that at this point, I am steaming. You may have noticed that I said that "the man in the orange shirt" asked Dean how he was enjoying his dinner. He never acknowledged that I existed. Dean literally could have been sitting there by himself because it was the same result anyway. I asked our waitress who this man was and she said that it was her manager. I explained what had happened and she apologized but walked on egg shells as would be expected as she discusses her managers behavior with a customer.

Dean knows me very well. I can't stand bad service and I tried my best not to start trouble on his birthday, at least not yet. About 15 minutes later, here he comes again, you know who, "the man in the orange shirt", the manager. The manager repeats his earlier action to the letter. He walks over to our table, bends at the waist, looks Dean in the eyes and this time asks if he would like a drink refill. The answer is negative and the manager walks away. The difference is that this time our waitress immediately walks over, bends down, looks me in the eyes and asks me if I would like a drink. The answer is also negative but by this time, it is too late, two strikes and this place is out.

Finally, the meal is over, despite the service of the manager, Dean and I have a great time. Granted, we would have a great time anywhere. That is what friends are for. It is time for me to pay the tab. I ask the waitress for the check, which she promptly provides and I pay the bill.

I admit, Dean asked me to remain calm and for all intents and purposes, I did. But, on our way out, who was standing at the register near the bar but the manager. He's actually standing in what could be construed as my direct path. Well, I did have to go a bit to the right but he was still fair game. My comment was short and sweet. Well, maybe not sweet but it was very short.

I proceeded to walk over to the manager, look him directly in the eye with what I hoped was a look that said you are the dirt beneath my feet and told him "For future reference, may I suggest, that if you choose to inquire as to the satisfaction of your guests, that you inquire as to the satisfaction of all the guests at the table. I am truly insulted that I have brought a guest to dine at your restaurant and yet I was completely ignored. At this point, I again think of Dean. It is his birthday and he doesn't want me to start trouble so as the manager begins his apology, I calmly turn away, as if he does not exist.

Dean had a great evening, was proud of me for not going overboard and hopefully, I made my point.

Dinner anyone?

Tenant termination in NYC

[Senai] I know, I am late in reporting on the court system. Yesterday I was so down that I didn't want to talk about it. First some background, I own a two-family home in the Bronx. I rent the downstairs two-bedroom apartment out. Over the years it has proved to be very successful. Until a year ago when I rented to a family of four. Now I usually limit the number of people in this apartment to three but this man came and begged for the apartment. It was near his children school, familiar with the neighborhood, etc. I did the usual credit and employment check and they seemed OK.
what sealed it for me was when I received a notarized letter from his former landlord saying how he was such a good tenant, paid his bills on time. He wanted them to leave because he had family coming from P.R. and they needed a place to stay. This sounded reasonable to me and the potential tenant was very persistent about the apartment. I let him have it - with a one year lease (mistake). He paid the first and second month's rent with no problem. On the third month he was a week late - reason? school started (what?!) Another two months he paid on time and then was late again - why? he was off so he didn't get paid that week (what?!) This pattern continued with one sorry excuse after another, wife couldn't work, had to buy clothes for children. When the lease finally ended I told him that I would not be renewing it and he would have to leave. At that time he was already two weeks late with the rent and I would not accept partial rent. His response to me was, "I tried to work with you." (what?!). He continued by saying "I am not leaving and if you want me out you will have to take me to court."

Here is where I got my lesson about being a landlord in NYC. First, the tenant has all the rights. I was told that I could not do anything to him since that was legally his apartment! If I wanted him out I would have to go to court. If I did anything to him, it would hurt my case. So I had to call off those folks who offered to hang him out to dry. The paperwork was relatively simple once I was able to find out what I needed and where I had to go to get it. Advice was freely given by those who had 'been there done that' but no one mentioned the time involved. Even though I had already sent a letter to him to terminate the premises in 30 days, I had to get someone who was not involved to serve him with one of the forms and notarize it - another 30 days. Then I had to complete two forms and have them served followed up with a postcard notifying the tenant of his pending court date three weeks later. Here is where my inexperience slowed the process. I used the Bronx Sherriff's office to ensure that he was properly served - I was told any error could require me to start all over again. The proof of service document along with post cards to the tenants had to be given to the courts. I did not do that, I thought I could mail the post card myself. When I learned that this was not the procedure, plus I did not have an original proof of service from the Sherriff who served him, my court date was postponed - three weeks. I now have a court date for October 4th. In meantime I have not received any rent from this tenant since June 1, (he said it is in escrow!?) Anyway my attorney said that I could not take any money from him because it would change the case. I did however request that the tenant not only get out but pay all of the arrears with interest. Not sure how much interest I should ask for though.

I am writing all of this one to get it out of my system and two to let you know how the process works to evict a NYC tenant. By the way there is a resource center in the court house where you can speak to an attorney for free. I would highly recommend that if you are doing an eviction yourself. The attorney I used was a generalist about NYC evictions. The resource attorney was precise about the process and helped me avoid some of the pitfalls.

I will let you know after October 4 what I hope will be the end of the story.

Be blessed.

Master Cleansing Life

[Shirley] Last night finished my first Master Cleanse of 10 days, the lemon detoxification program where you drink only a lemonade mixture: organic grade B maple syrup, fresh-squeezed lemon or lime juice, and cayenne pepper added to spring, distilled, or purified water to remove toxins from pollution, cigarette smoke, alcohol, caffeine, processed foods and whatever else that drains vitality from our bodies*. The initial goal was to continue for 20 days where spiritual gains beyond just health was also promised, however, the urge to use my jaws was a far greater cry, so I caved. Still for my first time this was an excellent experience, giving me this fresh start feeling. I have lost 7lbs (despite small lapses here and there) and gained increased energy levels I haven't felt in ages. Therefore, I've decided to put this concept (and new found energy) to other areas of my life... First on the list, detox my house, heavens knows it could do with it. This will definitely take longer than 10 days, but if I breakup each room/area into separate parts giving each area its own 10 days, this could be doable and if I enlist the help of my husband and daughter this is definitely doable -- Ha! ha! Ha-ha! Ha-ha, ah, ha, ha ha! ... I'll keep you posted.

*For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, check out http://www.mastercleanse.com/.

My visit to the hospital

[Shay] Well....I had my first scare last night with my pregnancy. It was not fun to say the least. Before I get ahead of myself, let me tell you who I am. My name is Shay and I am expecting my first child. Some may call me a "mature" expecting mother because of my age. How old am I? I am 39 years old but I will be hitting the big "4O" in December.

Let me tell you what happened. I was at work yesterday and started feeling pain in my lower back and abdomen. I was hoping and thinking it would go away. After and hour I decided I should call my doctor. I called the office and the front desk nurse answered, I told her what was happening and the doctor was at the hospital at the time. The nurse then called the doctor who returned her call within minutes. The nurse called me back and told me to get to Labor and Delivery at the hospital. My mouth dropped, I said "Are you serious?". She said yes because she wants to make sure that I am not having contractions. I think I hung up on her while she was still talking. Let me explain why I reacted this way. I am only 29 weeks which is too early to even think about having the baby.I started shutting my computer down and packing up and left for my trip. You see, I work in Stamford, CT but I live in New Jersey. I know it sounds crazy but currently that is how things have to remain.The whole ride to the hospital I was chanting over in my head "My baby is OK, My baby if fine."

Once I got to the hospital, I went up to Labor and Delivery and as soon as I went through the door, that asked me my name and shuttled me to a room to change and connected me up to monitors. I was relieved when they told me my baby's heart rate was perfect as well as my blood pressure. The nurse was very reassuring. I was waiting on my doctor so I was just laying there watching television until she came. She came in and told me everything looks OK but she wanted to run some tests to make sure. I had to lay in the room and they continued to monitor the baby as I laid there and waited on the test results. Then the shift changed. Another nurse came in and started asking me questions I already answered to my doctor and the other nurse. I am sitting there wondering why is she asking me these things when my chart is in her hands. Then she told me I need to lay on my left and starting shifting me and putting this wedge pillow on my right so I can lay on my left. I can't see the TV laying this way. So am I suppose to watch the door for the next hour or so. I know it is good for the baby to be on my left. I lay that way for the baby all the time but goodness she was nerve racking. Thankfully about thirty minutes later the tests came back OK and I could leave. I was still in pain but at least everything looked good for the baby. Now all I have to worry about is how much pain I will feel once I get the bill for this episode. Even with health care it is always a pretty penny.

Well, I am feeling much better today. At least I can mentally prepare myself on what to expect when I do go into labor.I don't think I prepare myself for the pain though.

What's In a Name?

People often ask me about my name. Senai is not my birth name. I changed it to Senai when I was in college. I am a child of the late 60's and we were all seeking our afrocentric identity. No one wanted a "slave" name. I did not get on the bandwagon until I began dating a man from Ethiopia. We were in love, or so I thought, so I allowed him to choose a name for me. He said a word and told me the meaning but he was not sure how it was spelled so I created the spelling based on what it sounded like he was saying. His native language is Tegrinia (sp?). Our relationship lasted another year but I loved my new name so I formalized it and kept it. It is a part of me. I would have made it my first name but I was named after my Aunt Jenny (Virginia) and she was not too happy about this name change business...so I compromised and made Senai my middle name. I love my aunt.

What does Senai mean? According to my Ethiopian friend it means peaceful, beautiful, and blessed. Over the years I have been reluctant to share the entire meaning of the name because I did not always feel that way. I now realize that it was an excellent choice for me. It is just that back then I did not see myself the way he and others saw me.

I think names that have meaning attached to them and if that meaning is known it helps shape the person. To some extent, I see that has happened in the names that I have given my children. Maybe it is how I raised them I don't know but they do seem to exemplify their name.

Tomorrow I will share my experience with the flawed legal system.

My very first blog!!

I am a woman who is in the process of reinventing herself. I am a divorced mother of two wonderful young adults (son and daughter. I am a grandmother of three handsome boys ages 2,3, and 4; an entrepreneur, and I love life. Life is not loving me right now and I will share why later but it is OK because I am a child of God and He is always looking after me.

Two years ago I was downsized from a job I had been at for more than 20 years. Not knowing what to do with myself I signed up with Peak Potentials. I think it was one of my better decisions. Since I no longer had a desire to go back to an office I looked for businesses that I would like to be involved with. After several mismatches I ended up with what I am currently doing which is financial education and travel. These two businesses will be the vehicles that will allow me to achieve a dream I have had for years - to start a school for children in low income areas that will focus on building self awareness and self esteem.

While I am new at blogging I think it will be fun to share and exchange views on a variety of topics. The women in the group are phenomenal and I never really thought I would find them all in one place...

My Name Is Lynn

My name is Lynn. I am in my 30's and I am still planning to be financial free by the time I am 40. With the state of the economy I know that I have to come up with some creative strategies. I am a mother, wife, entrepreneur, etc. Time management is my greatest challenge. Currently I am working on my values and goals. I need to know where I want to go which will help me to get there soon.

He Ain't Easy People, He Ain't Easy

[Sherba] I’m a very casual person, laid back, in the way I dress and my nature. My father hates the way I dress sometimes, even though I think he has come to terms with it.

He used to complain about my hair and I would burst out laughing, because the look on his face was so funny. He did it because he cared. Every time I see him I can see him scanning what I am wearing. He does it because he loves me. So I know he is concerned for me, but the lack of concern he has for my concern for him is soooo trying.

My father has retired to the Caribbean and a few times a year, in the warmer months of the U.S., he comes to visit. He never calls ahead of time to tell me or my brother when he is coming, he just comes. He was here earlier this year and did not call me. When I saw him I said “How long have you been here?” He replies “Since Saturday.” People, that means he was here for 2 days without calling to let me know.

Recently I had been trying to call him in the Caribbean as well as e-mail and he did not answer for a while until I received an e-mail with his sentence not finished, which had me very concerned. I sent an e-mail again, my brother sent an e-mail, and I called both his numbers, no reply. He then called, only because somebody who knows somebody in his town told him I had been trying to contact him. Now can you imagine if I did these things, pleeeese he would be beside himself worrying. He lives on 4 acres, usually by himself, in the boonies. He’s driving me crazy.

I love my father but it feels to me as if he’s acting like he's my teenager and he’s 70! All I say is, give me strength, Lord, give me strength.

Who is all of this for?

[Karen} No, I’m not married. I have no kids but I do support my 79 year young mother and I have a dog named Mr. G. I say this because like you, every day I work hard, very hard actually. My days are always extremely full and for the most part, very enjoyable but exhausting. The thought of being wealthy, having more money to donate and time to volunteer and just have the ability to do what I want when I want is on my mind.

What I have found is that I have been in a dangerous cycle of working all day and night building all of my businesses and volunteering with my local real estate investor group. Of course, I attempt to spend time with my mother, even if it is to go sit down with her and watch TV for some quality time or take her shopping but right after we’re finished, I go back to work so I don’t feel too guilty.

The problem is that for the last six to eight months, this cycle has begun to include going to sleep at 3am or 4am in the morning and me still waking up exhausted no matter what time I rise but it is usually about five hours later. I really think that my internal clock is actually broken. After all, how could I go to sleep so late and still wake up so early and why would I wake up if I am still exhausted? We hear about sleep deficit, well, I think that my account is seriously overdrawn because I am in no way catching up. I know full well that this is wrong but do as I say, not as I do because every day the clock runs on and there I go again. I have actually seen the sun rise as I sat at my computer a couple days in the last 5 months but that is the extreme. My magic time seems to be 4am.

I have a friend and fellow investor who is only two years older than me that recently suffered a stroke. A group of us were away on a business trip. Yes, just like I said, work, work, work. I will never forget sitting down next to him that very day and telling him that he needs to get more sleep. I just wrote that I am a firm believer in do as I say, not as I do. He is just like me, in the past, we often sent emails to each other at 3am and we would find that we were both still awake. Do you think that his stroke would teach me a lesson? Nope!

What did it take? Well, yesterday I was talking to my property manager. I mentioned that I had sent her an email last night but was calling anyway because I was not sure if she had seen the note. The fact that she then proceeded to ask what I was doing sending notes at 3:15 did not go unnoticed. Fortunately, the conversation went on and she said what finally hit home, and that is “who is going to take care of your mother if something happens to you”.

I get it. It finally hit me. She is completely right. I kept saying to myself I’ll get some sleep tomorrow and everything will be fine. The problem is I never did. The reality is that if something happens to me, there is nobody else. I have two married brothers but the thought of my mother relying on them scares me. Don’t get me started on that.

So now what? Well, I will strive to take better care of myself. I will continue to eat right but now I will get to sleep and then start exercising again. I will commit to excel in these all important building blocks of healthy habits

From now on, all I have to ask myself is for what and who is all of this for?